Top 20 FUNNIEST Christmas Cracker Jokes!

MERRY CHRISTMAS. Oh wait, it’s still not Christmas yet? I am just too excited this year. How about you folks?

Did you read my last blog on Christmas DIY Crafts?

One of my fun, festive crafts was to create Christmas Crackers. Filling the crackers with MAOAM sweets – obviously. Plus, amazing jokes. Naturally.

Now, I NEVER break a promise. So, if I say I’m going to give you brilliant Christmas jokes, then that’s what I’m going to do!

Once you have your crackers made from my brilliant craft above! Pick some of my great jokes below.

Do you have any good ones? Or, REALLY bad ones? Hehe.

Let me know on MAOAM Facebook, Twitter or Instagram.

Top 20 Classic Christmas Cracker Jokes – These are the funniest around folks…

  1. What is the best Christmas present in the world? A broken drum, you just can’t beat it!


  1. What did the snowman say to the aggressive carrot? Get out of my face!


  1. Where does Father Christmas go for an action-packed weekend of paintballing, archery, cycling and sub-tropical swimming? Santa Parcs (TOP MAX JOKE)


  1. What do you call an old snowman? Water


  1. Two snowmen hanging out. One says to the other. Can you smell carrot.


  1. Who hides in the bakery at Christmas? A mince spy!


  1. What’s every elf’s favourite type of music? Wrap.


  1. What is the most popular Christmas wine? I don’t like sprouts.


  1. How does Santa keep track of all the fireplaces he’s visited? He keeps a logbook.


  1. What did the snowman say to the fallen leaf? You are SO last season.


  1. Why was the turkey in the pop group? He was the only one with a drumstick.


  1. What do you call a festive train loaded with toffee? A chew chew train (Sounds like this Train is a MAOAM fan right…right?)


  1. Why did no-one bid for Rudolph and Blitzen on eBay? Because they were two deer.


  1. Why was the snowman looking through the carrots? He was picking his nose!


  1. What do you get if you cross Santa with a duck? A Christmas quacker.


  1. What do snowmen eat for breakfast? Ice Crispies.


  1. How do the elves clean Santa’s sleigh on the day after Christmas? They use Santa-tizer.


  1. What did one Christmas tree say to another? Lighten up!


  1. Knock, knock! Who’s there? Interrupting Santa. Inter– Ho ho ho! Merry Christmas!
  2. What carol is heard in the desert? ‘O camel ye faithful!’



Bet you’re feeling FESTIVE now!

If you have any more hilarious Christmas cracker jokes share with MAOAM on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram.

Have an AMAZING Christmas!